How I Unf*cked My Life (My Story)

Rewind to 2018, I’m 15, Year 10 of high school.

I’m overweight. Addicted to video games. Crippled by social anxiety.

At home, my parents are going through a messy divorce.

At school, I’m bullied — “fat,” “loser,” “disgusting.”

I was trapped in my own mind, angry at myself, at my life, at everything around me.

It wasn’t just the bullying or the pressure from home.

It was how I felt about myself - worthless, invisible, weak.

So mentally, I checked out. 

I became addicted to video games and anime — they were my escape, my way to cope.

But then, something inside me shifted. 

A decision had to be made. 

I could give up and take the easy way out. 

Or for the first time in my life, I could take control and finally make a real change. 

I saw no other path forward 

I was going to lose weight and completely transform myself 

That’s exactly what I did — I started going for runs after school and cleaned up my diet.

I even got my family involved by saying I wanted to be healthier, and they supported me.

Junk food was no longer bought, and healthier alternatives replaced it. With that support, I knew I could do this.

I used self-hatred and the vision of a better life as fuel. I ran, and I kept running.

I altogether stopped eating junk food, cut out all sugary drinks, and pushed myself forward, day after day.

The progress came quickly, and it was addicting. Seeing the weight drop, watching my reflection improve, was a constant source of motivation.

6–12 months later, everything had changed.

I began getting compliments on how good I looked.

“Wow, you’ve lost a lot of weight! How’d you do it?”

“That’s incredible work!”

“Were so proud of you”

Everyone noticed. I could feel it. People looked at me differently. 

It was slight, but I could tell.

I had their respect - something I’d never felt before.

Their eyes no longer held disgust or contempt. Instead I saw respect. 

Then I saw it for myself.

The mirror showed someone I was proud of.

Strong. More in control. Finally alive.

Life felt different. It was brighter. 

For the first time in years. I actually looked forward to each day. 

I learned a vital lesson: 

Never accept unhappiness. If you want something, you have to go out and get it. If you want change, you have to make it happen.

No one else will do it for you.

Success doesn’t happen overnight; this took me a full 6-12 months of constant struggling, iterating, learning, failing and then failing again. 

I just took steps in a forward motion, everyday to who I wanted to become. 

Real change takes time. 

Fast forward to mid-Year 12, a friend suggested we hit the gym together. We went a few times, and I instantly fell in love with it.

I saw my strength increase, and the visible progress was addictive. I was hooked.

I became obsessed with the gym, with building muscle, and getting stronger. 

It was the same obsession I had, when I began to see myself losing weight on the scale. 

The year after -  I went to TAFE to study computer programming, but I was lazy, unmotivated and didn’t put in the effort. I dropped out three quarters of the way through. 

At this point; there was only one thing on my mind - the gym.

After working out, it was straight back to gaming with my friends. That was my life. Tafe, gym and gaming. 

To be honest, I was very comfortable and happy here; I had made massive progress and was still continuing to work hard towards a goal.

Pinned Tweet Ends Here - Start Here:

Being comfortable enough to stay in the same position but not uncomfortable enough to make a real change.

This is a trap many people get stuck in, be careful - this cycle is real and brutal. 

At that time, I was still socially awkward and barely knew how to make friends; I couldn’t spark conversations with new people. Nor did I even have a basic job. 

Then after failing in TAFE, I got a job at IGA (grocery store), and it was a bit of a wake-up call.

My first ever job - you can imagine how that felt.

But it forced me to be social. Talking to people at the checkout every day helped me overcome anxiety, and the easy work paid well. 

However the gym was still my number one focus.

But the gym didn’t fix everything. I still scrolled through social media endlessly, had no purpose or girlfriend and I was struggling with self-hatred (at this point I had no idea why). My relationship with my family wasn’t in a very good place either.

Then I discovered self-improvement content on YouTube - Hamza was a big influence on me at the time.

I tried all the good habits — meditation, journaling, cold showers. But nothing stuck. I now know why (I’ll get into that later). 

However, I did read books like How to Win Friends and Influence People and applied what I learned. I took notes and began using the strategies.

I became more social and better with people. It felt rewarding to see the results and realize that these skills were becoming a natural part of me.

But eventually, I became content with the progress I’d made in the gym and with self-improvement.

That's when I realized I still had other areas of my life to improve.

I didn’t have a girlfriend, I still didn’t know my true purpose, and I was still stuck in bad habits that kept me weak.

So, I started a YouTube channel about fitness and getting in shape.

I began from scratch, learning everything I could about content creation: thumbnails, video editing, idea generation, and speaking on camera.

The process of learning and creating videos was fun, but after six months…

I began doubting myself. What was the point? Who was I kidding? I couldn’t do this.

I didn’t see the progress I expected.

I couldn’t stay consistent.

I gave up. 

Months of effort with no tangible results — no money, just 17 subscribers.

But that self-doubt sparked action elsewhere in my life.

After two and a half years, I left IGA and took an intense sales job, making cold calls and selling.

I pushed myself out of my comfort zone, working 10-hour days, going from 20 to 50 hours a week.

The contrast with IGA was insane.

IGA was 10 times easier.

But I knew the effort would be worth it. I’d learn valuable skills and build character.

At IGA, I was comfortable, but I wasn’t learning anything useful.

It was a brutal wake-up call. I knew nothing about business, machinery (we sold earth moving equipment), or sales skills.

In the midst of dealing with this new job, I got friend-zoned by a girl I genuinely liked.

It was the first girl I’d ever had the courage to ask out. And… I got rejected.

It made me feel worthless, and my mind was consumed by negativity.

And to make things worse, a family member faced serious health complications.

I supported them through it, and thankfully, they recovered.

But between the health issues, the rejection, and the stress of my job. 

Safe to say, I wasn’t having a good time here haha. 

Anyways, months go by and routine begins to set in. 

The cycle repeats; work, gym and bed. 

I was exhausted.

This lifestyle wasn’t sustainable, and I began considering whether I should quit.

After six months, I left the sales job.

Life isn’t just about work, I thought; I really wanted to actually experience it. 

And those 10 hour days left zero time for anything new. 

But it wasn’t all bad. I had great coworkers, solid pay, and I could get into a flow state where I actually enjoyed the work. On top of that, the personal growth and skills I developed were invaluable. 

I learned 10 times more in those 6 months than I did in two years at IGA. 

I was stronger, more resilient, but still had a lot more to grow.

Then I went on holiday with some friends, and that trip changed everything.

I had a massive paradigm shift, changing how I saw myself and others. 

One of my friends, through small comments, was pissing me off beyond words. I didn’t know why.

Sometimes I just wanted to punch him for the stuff that would come out of his mouth. 

I decided instead of just getting pissed at him over and over; to research and figure out why? 

I kept asking myself “why” over and over. Delving deeper into my psychology. 

I began to question why I reacted so emotionally and why I felt like I received a gut punch everytime he made those comments.

I discovered that I was wildly insecure.

My ego was fragile, and through introspection and journaling I realized that the praise I received for losing weight years ago had shaped me in ways I didn’t even realize.

All that validation had built my self-esteem, but it had also developed a need for external approval. I wanted to be liked, but at the cost of my inner peace.

I had spent too much energy trying to please others, seeking validation from the outside.

I knew I had to fix this.

I became aware of my insecurities and worked on fixing them.

That awareness was the key to changing my mindset.

I learned that when you react emotionally to others, it’s often a reflection of your own ego being threatened.

And when you understand that, you can start to change. You can develop more peace of mind. 

I begun becoming more empathetic as well

A trait, honestly I never had; I was always; me, me, me, me! 

Who would have guessed - You're not the centre of the world. The stars don’t actually revolve around you. 

Continuing with these new insights, I fixed my relations with my family. 

My selfish behaviour and my preconceived notions / biases made me Bitter, Spiteful and full of hate. 

And again through reflection and looking inward; I fixed a part of my life that was deeply  lacking. 

At this point my health, confidence, mindset and relationships all had levelled up. Yet again, life was getting better.

But I knew I still had a long way to go. 

I still had bad habits to break. I still self-sabotaged by scrolling on Instagram and binge-eating junk food. 

But I kept going.

Then, I discovered Charlie Morgan’s video on the shadow self, the unconscious mind and shadow work, and that was a game-changer.

Through an emotional and draining journey, I found the root of my self-hatred 

As cringe as it sounds, I had learned to love and accept myself.

That stopped the vast majority of my self-sabotage.

I deleted instagram from my phone, freeing myself from endless scrolling. 

Training in the gym, I now realized why I’d pushed myself so hard all those years. It was rooted in self-hatred. But now, I felt at peace. I wasn’t carrying that weight anymore.

Next came stepping out of my comfort zone — talking to girls and developing stronger social habits.

I invested $2,000 in a mentor in my city to help me. His focus was on building a social circle of like-minded people, breaking limiting beliefs, and guiding me through the steps to eventually find a girlfriend.

He pushed me out of my comfort zone constantly.

Because here’s the thing — if you want a girlfriend, you actually have to go out and socialize. (Crazy concept, I know.)

And then you have to face your fear, approach people, and start real conversations — even when it’s uncomfortable.

So that’s what I did. I was regularly meeting new people, improving my social skills, and showing up to events.

One of my biggest fears was approaching beautiful women and starting a conversation.

We’d go out at night, and he would approach girls, groups of girls, talk to them confidently — then push me to do the same.

Honestly, it was terrifying. Every part of me screamed not to do it.

But every time I pushed through and approached, I felt proud. I was no longer paralyzed by fear. Sure, there were times I hesitated and beat myself up afterward — but that only fueled me for the next time.

I bought the mentorship purely out of emotion. Logically, I thought I’d end up regretting how much I spent.

But just the accountability, his worldview, and the fact that he genuinely cared — that alone made it worth every dollar.

Having a coach or mentor who’s actually walked the path you’re on is invaluable. He truly wanted to help — and that made all the difference.

That’s the kind of coach I want to be for others.

I didn’t get a girlfriend out of it (yet), but I gained something far more valuable: mental strength, the ability to act in spite of fear, and solid social and conversation skills.

You could say I’ve changed in pretty much every way:

• Fat → Fit

• Self-hate → Full self-acceptance

• Socially Anxious → Relaxed + Good with people

• Insecure, fragile ego  → Unshakeable self confidence

• Poor Family Relations → Meaningful and loving relations. 

• Constant negative thoughts → Habitualised positive thinking

But here’s the truth: this isn’t the end of my story. It’s just the beginning. And I’m on a mission to keep evolving.

Right now, I’m working on building my mindset, business and my purpose - where I can make a real, lasting impact on people’s lives.

I’m documenting every step of this journey. And I want YOU to be a part of it.

If you’re done waiting for change and are now ready to take control, I’ve got you.

Each week, I share no-BS strategies to help you rewire your habits, mindset, and identity. This is the stuff that changed my life.

If you want to make these kinds of transformations in your own life—if you’re ready to stop waiting for change and start creating it yourself. 

Join me and let’s make it happen.

Subscribe to The Inner Shift free now, and start your transformation today.