My Complacent Past

I got complacent working a job I thought I hated, I worked at a grocery store and my entire work life consisted of standing there scanning peoples items and stocking shelves. Thats what my days at work would be like, those two things on repeat. “Like a god damn NPC I thought to myself”, “Is this seriously whats life about?” “Am I going to be doing this same thing 40 years from now?” These are common thoughts that came through my head.

Then there was the other side of me fighting for control “Its good pay and I only work like 25 hours a week!” “The people here are so friendly here, I’m not going to get this anywhere else" “I’m so well liked here and my reputation is so good” “You're comfortable here, why would you want change?” Any and every cope thought you can think of, I had it.  

I then reflected on and actually spent some time with my thoughts (This was new for me btw). I didn’t drown out my thoughts with instant gratification, I faced them. I then imagined my life in 20 years going through the same monotonous day to day. This terrified me, the mediocrity, the lack of purpose, this isn’t what lifes about. I thought “I’m genuinely capable of so much more than this!” With a wave of motivation I began watching Alex Hormozi and other self help / business channels on youtube trying to figure out what to do with my life. He talked about his experience with sales and how it built him into the man he is today.

So despite being in customer service I was still relatively unsociable, shy and honestly overwhelmingly scared of what others thought of me. I thought a sales job would be so perfect and take me so far out of my comfort zone. I would either sink or swim with this decision. Cold calling random people and getting rejected everyday? Trying to convince people to buy from me?

That sounded like shit yet I realized the potential, the potential to earn actual money and grow. Also, if I want change in my life, I have to do something about it myself; no ones going to do it for me. 

Then I decided to actually do something about it, I applied for a bunch of sales jobs. I didn’t care what people thought and took that big risk. I got one, I got into an entry level sales job. I’m not going to lie to you, this job was hard, oftentimes overwhelming, hours were frustrating, so much less time for things I found fun and life was just so much more stressful for me.

I went from literally the easiest job in the world, no using my brain and no challenge, to going balls deep into this absolute behemoth of a job. "Why did I do this to myself” was a common thought that popped up every now and then. Every time though I remembered why I was here and pushed on.

Then in time I adapted as the human mind so easily does and it became easier, less frustrating and more enjoyable.

I had a bit of an epiphany whilst I was working there; at the retail store I wasn’t building any skills or getting better but here, here I can level up my sales skills and it directly translates into me making more money, how cool is that? I forgot how actually being good at something is so inherently rewarding. I can’t understate that enough though, being good at a skill is so rewarding. 

In hindsight this role built me into a man that takes risks, prioritizes growth and chooses the future over short term comfort. I grew more in 3 months there then 2 entire years at the retail store. This one risk set me in the right direction that will continue guiding me for the rest of my life. 

Moral of the story - Take that risk, quit the job you hate and choose pain / growth over short term pleasure. Your future self will more than thank you for it.

Stagnation - The Antithesis Of Your Dream Life

What is stagnation? It is that feeling of being trapped in the exact same situation no matter how much time passes in every domain of your life. It is having the exact same body, same job, same relationships, same problems as last year. Living like this isn’t living at all and will lead to absolute mediocrity.

What do you genuinely want out of life? A comfortable job that doesn’t excite you but pays the bills? A mediocre partner just satisfying enough you don’t want to leave them? No real purpose to work towards? Existing day to day, don’t want to die but don’t want to live? Overweight with mental health problems? Unfortunately this future is likely where I was headed had I not gotten out of my comfort zone and left that retail job. 

There are two roads in life, one leads to a mediocre life and one leads to your dream life. Choose wisely, you won’t get a do over.   

Side note: I’m not a graphic designer, I know         

This diagram dictates that depending on your choices you can have a comfortable and mediocre life or you can suffer a bit of discomfort now to have your dream life. In reality though, it is two choices:

Suffer now and live your dream fulfilling life?

Or 

Suffer a little less now and then suffer a whole lot more later down the track? 

Personally I know what option I’m going with, what about you?

Imagine your dream future in detail, on your current route; are you going to get there? This is genuinely something to think about, don’t just read this once and move on, actually think about this.

Look at the diagram below now, what does your life mostly consist of? Short term pleasure? Distractions? No goals or plan? What are your friends doing? Unfortunately that will lead you to mediocrity.

However with the correct action taken and a mindset shift you can actually live that future!  

Fix Yourself Now

It all comes down to what you spend your time doing and what you're thinking about. If you spend your time playing video games, eating junk food, hanging with degenerates with no goals or doing anything to uplift yourself. What is that going to result in? Comfort now for suffering later. Also if your ideal partner came into your life at this time, would she want you? Would you want you? Do you blame her for not wanting you?

This might be a bit brutal but honesty and being accountable to yourself is key in order to recognise this future and break your chains.

If you’re thinking about nothing except for that next party or when you're next going to watch porn, you will never go anywhere except for where you're currently headed (mediocrity). I don’t say this to mock or degrade you, I’ve been there myself! I’m giving you advice based on what I wished someone told me years ago.

The mind and thoughts are powerful, they shape your reality. If you're single mindedly obsessing about becoming successful, you will find a way to become successful. Start by changing your thoughts and life will improve.

Growth and discomfort is hard and painful, I could not agree more but what is more painful. Staying the same with the pain of regret or facing the pain, growing and making yourself into the man who gets what he wants. I personally choose growth. 

Now i want you to answer these 3 questions honestly:

• Do you want to be on that upwards trajectory and look forward to the future?

• Do you want to live everyday in regret, living in what could of been but not have? 

• Do you want to be living the same life 40 years from now? 

Now if you answered yes to any of those questions, the solution to that is to avoid stagnation.

I want to beat this idea of “stagnation is the enemy” into your head so I’m going to give you a few more examples. 

Stagnations The Enemy

Imagine you're watching a typical shounen like dragon ball or naruto. Now instead of them growing with each battle, learning lessons, getting stronger and becoming better. Imagine them going through absolutely no hardship at all and no conflict. Imagine them exactly the same from the start to the finish no hardship, no growth, no learnt lessons, same character. How boring would that be? Think of your life like that. Also humans inherently find transformations interesting and you love to see people transform themselves. Literally look at fitness transformations on youtube and see how popular they are. So why don’t you transform yourself? 

A bit more of an absurd image but hear me out, imagine your looking in on yourself from a third person perspective and your life plays out in front of you like a movie. How would you feel? Would you be disgusted with yourself? Content with the life you led? Imagining a future where you did more? Regretting the way you lived? If you don’t like that image, internalize this feeling and then do something about it. 

Imagine you're playing a video game like skyrim or Grand Theft Auto and instead of either leveling up or having the ability to purchase and work towards. You just can’t. Levels and your material items such as cars, houses or that new doomsday bunker, you can’t work towards that anymore. Imagine your character is just static, no change, no cool magic, no fancy cars, no improvement. There's just no change, imagine what that game would be like without having something to work towards or a leveling system to grind. What would MMOs and RPGs be like without a leveling system? They’d be boring! We as humans need something to work towards, we need progression. Hell it could help to think of life as a video game and you're just trying to level all of your stats. Go for a run? Leveled up fitness. Read 30 minutes? Leveled up mind. You get it, complacency and stagnation is the worst. 

Understand This Concept Yesterday

The most important concept I need you to understand is that your life is in your hands, no one else is going to get the things YOU want for you; no ones going to do it for you! (Drill this into your head, no one is going to do it for me!) In the grand scheme of life you are alone, with everything up to you, and what you choose to do with that life completely falls on your shoulders.

Now you could let that scare you into inaction or you could actually consider the words just spoken. Humans are malleable and can adapt at an incredible rate, put us in a new environment and we will find a way to survive. Rewire your thought process, think like this instead “Since it is up to me, failure is my fault but yet, if I succeed that's also because of me”.

3 Mental Models you must adopt

1. Chase challenge 

• This idea will be an entire newsletter in the coming weeks so if you don’t understand fully, sign up and wait for that one. There are two versions of you, your current and evolving self. Your current self wants to remain the same, do all the bad habits and keep you stagnant. Your evolving self is the part of your brain that wants more, your dream life. Your current self materializes by inflicting pain, this isn’t physical pain like stubbing your toe.

• It's that pain you feel when you know you should study but you just watch netflix instead or if you know you want to work on your business but you just scroll instead. Pain manifests itself in many different ways, all trying to stop you from growing. All you have to do to grow is to acknowledge the pain and do the work anyway.

• It is very simple but can be really hard, sometimes your body will feel like it's in fight or flight. For me personally approaching and talking to a group of hot girls felt like that, fight or flight. I acknowledged my current self is keeping me weak and I went up and talked to them.

• Basically think of it like your defeating your current self and saying “fuck you” to the weak little bitch version of yourself. 

2. Forever learner

• To become stagnant is to remain the same. If you don’t want to stay the same, learn. Most people think once school is finished, your done learning. That should be the opposite thinking, “now that I’m done school I can pursue my natural curiosities, learn more and grow”. Once you’ve finished school you're like a blank canvas ready to be painted on by the world, the great thing is you can actually decide what the canvas will end up looking like.

• For example you're unfit and don’t know how to eat well or exercise? Learn!! In this day and age there is so much free information, readily accessible. Want to become a coder? There are free Harvard taught videos online on how to code.

   

• By controlling the information that goes into your brain and adopting the mantra “I am a forever learner” you will not remain stagnant. 

3. Direction 

• Define your dream life and the steps you need to take to get there. You cannot reach somewhere if you do not know the directions, we need a roadmap and you uncover it by setting goals. 

• Imagine taking a trip on a boat, having the goal of going to an island. Would you take with you a map, compass and understand how navigation works? Yes because otherwise how are you going to get there? Your map and compass is your goals, you need a way to get to your dream life!

• You must set goals and have a direction of where you want to go. 

Get some urgency, no matter how old you are it's never too late to make 1% gains everyday and start that compounding effect! Remaining stagnant is the key to a mediocre life, do not allow yourself to keep going down that route. Remember my story! Growth is hard but ultimately makes life worth living.   

Next newsletter will be one with more actionable steps to avoid stagnation and get back on the correct path to your dream life. Signup if your interested

Now if you resonated with anything in this newsletter and want to get fast tracked to achieving your dream life. Flick me a dm with the word “Dream” and I will see if I can personally fast track you there.